Geeky Music

From a recent chat:

Him: I'm forming a band.
Me: A band?
Me: Cool
Him: Yeah, but we're still in beta though.

Some Observations

I had a bad night last night. This morning I am better but wanted to write this so I won't forget.

1. I still over-react to what one person says. I wonder if it's my way of not letting go.

2. None of my close friends (online or off) contact me unless they need something. I have to contact them.

3. When I think that I expect too much of my online friend I am comparing him to my offline friend. Then I think of #2 and get angry again.

4. In the last two years I have progressed best when helping others.

5. I have progressed mush slower than the people I have helped.

6. Having emotion again is a good thing but sometimes it hurts like hell.

I chatted with one of my blogfriends this morning and none of this came out. We talked about music videos. I know I am not alone but sometimes it feels like it.

Bah, #@%$

I wasn't going to post here tonight. I wrote a quick post in one of my other blogs and was going to play a computer game. Then I saw a friend was online and decided to say hello.

I only talk to him about once a week and the chats used to be great but now they are varied. The chat started okay. The conversation covered his news - which I had to ask about. Then he seemed to stop responding so I switched to what I was doing. No response. 15 minutes later... still no response.

Why are some people so rude when chatting?

Why do they make me feel like a second class friend?

I know another person who disappears in the middle of chats and I find it annoying as well. I wonder if I expect more of the guy I talked to tonight because we were once close friends.

I guess it is time to look at what I want from people and what I expect from them.

Reaction

I was upset this morning. I had been chatting with a friend and just couldn't seem to keep the conversation going. Since I was bored and wanted to talk I didn't want to quit. The silences grew longer and I didn't know what to say. The conversation seemed dead so I said goodbye and logged out. I then got upset.

Usually our chats are good and they make me think. Sometimes I get good ideas for blog posts. Last night I was a bit keyed up because I was pushing myself to get some chores done and was quite happy with all I accomplished. I guess I wanted things to go well online too. When it didn't I was dissatisfied and left the conversation. I was surprised at my reaction though.

I wonder if my reaction is based on insecurity on my part. If I am not interesting will I cease to be relevant? I don't know. I do know I reacted because some need wasn't being met.

I hate it when a tantrum like this comes along.

Fun And Gaims 2

This was to be part of the previous post but I got sidetracked by a chat, music, and Gaim (*&%# again!).

I first learned about Tegan and Sara through Shogun and I liked their music. Last night I heard one of their songs for the first time and I am hooked.

Last night I used Meebo to talk to an AIM contact and liked it, Meebo is nice. The only problem is that you need to keep your browser open.

I had a chat using MSN Messenger and that was okay but I missed the way Gaim works. I decided to try puttering with Gaim again and found I could load AIM and GoogleTalk but if I loaded MSN Gaim crashed.

Microsoft may be tweaking MSN code again and it will take time for Gaim to catch up. I can use it for my other accounts though. I wish these programs worked better together.

The Emotion Game

Emotion signals interest or at least attention. Song-writers and comedians try to trigger emotions.

Tonight I felt like chatting but my friend was kind of distant. I tried a snappy one liner and it back-fired. Boredom and fatigue were threatening to make things worse. A bit of explanation and a bit of emotion made things better.

We really didn't deal with anything in a detailed way. One paragraph he posted showed he understood what I was feeling. One question I posted got us talking and thinking. We weren't distant.

I was always told not to play the emotion game. It was a "cheap tactic" to get attention. That's true in a way but it depends on what sort of attention you need. If it's the look-at-me-I-am-selfish type then it is cheap. If it's the I-need-to-connect-with-you type then it can be valid.

Tonight was one of those gah-why-are-we-chatting-if-we-aren't-talking situations. A little noise and acknowledging the situation made things better.

Music With The Masta

I just had one of those odd sessions that can happen when you chat/talk with friends. I was chatting with The Masta and he wanted to play his guitar for me. We powered up Skype and I listed to a bit of "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones and "Smoke On The Water" by Deep Purple.

The music was fun and lead to him listing the musicians on his ipod. Whenever I saw a musician I didn't know I copied the name into Radio Blog Club and listened to some music. This proved quite interesting as I explored artists like Daniel Powter and Fink.

This proves again how powerful messaging is. Two people of different ages in different areas of the world can share ideas and learn something.

Shift

Sometimes words fail me. I feel so odd when that happens because I like to communicate and think I am good at it.

Yesterday I IMed a friend and he was busy. I asked a question and he answered. Suddenly I felt blank and couldn't concentrate on chatting. I said I would check on him later and went offline.

There were no issues to deal with and no news to cover so a wait wouldn't hurt. Still it felt odd.

I went and read for almost an hour and then IMed him again. Everything felt normal and we had a nice long visit.

I am used to making conscious decisions on whether to chat or not.