Weird English

I have always liked playing around with language. I used to do impersonations and managed a fair John Wayne. Sometimes I would slip into an American, English, or French accent without even realizing it. People thought I was being rude but I was just spicing up small talk.

I remember getting chastened by my sister -in - law for teaching my nephews Pig Latin. She said: "They have enough trouble speaking English without you confusing things." Maybe she was right. One day the six year old asked me if 'fuck' was a bad word. I said it was and asked where he had heard it. He said: "Oh, Dad says it all the time." My nephews were indeed bogged down sorting out proper English. They never learned Pig Latin.

English must be hard to learn. How do people survive stuff like this:

• tough = tuff


• cough = coff


• slough = slew


• bough = bow

(These may be pronounced differently in other dialects of English).

If we changed the spelling of words to fit our dialects we would eventually end up with separate languages. We can however play with words and test our language skills.

Can you pronounce "ghoakn"?

- gh = f as in enough

- oa = o as in loan

- kn = silent k + n as in know

Therefore ghoakn = phone. Ring, Ring it's for you!

There are a number of interesting language sites on the Internet. Here are two that I like:

The Word Spy

The Weblog of Internacular