Thursday, January 26, 2006


When I was younger I found it hard to "fix" or "repair" relationships if things went bad. I would run away from them or I would break them.

I soon learned that this didn't work.

What I was really trying to do was break myself so I could rebuild myself. I used to be quite adept at throwing a nuclear tantrum and sending my life into chaos for a few months. My friends would put on hard hats and say, "here we go again".

Lately I have been depressed. Things seemed to be pointing to a meltdown. I expected some fireworks and a blog stopping catastrophe.



I sit here smiling because I actually miss those "good old" temper tantrums. They burned off calories and prevented boredom.

I am going to handle all of this the adult way. I am going to sleep.


Steve said...

That's the spirit! It's chemically proven that smiling and looking up at the same time improves ones mood.

Steve said...

On a more serious note, you're dead on. Running away is not the way to go. Face them and get it over with. Chances are that it will be alright. Don't worry, there are people out there that love you. There are people out there that are thinking right now, "I'm glad I know Leon."

Stephen said...

Don't worry man, everyone goes through bad times. And I have to agree with Steve about the not running away thing. Looking straight at whatever problem is facing you is the best way. That's how you learn and grow from them. You may still have bad times here and there, but you can look back on how you got through them before. Plus I'm sure us blog people will help you out the best we can.

Leon said...

Steve - thanks. It is easy to forget your connections to other people. It is also easy to misjudge them. Writing here lets me "blog off steam" in a public/private place without imposing on anyone or being alone (in the total isolation sense.) If anything that's what blogging is good for.

Stephen - thanks to you too. Running away is one of those 'scene making' activities that don't work.