Crossroads

I have always had trouble with transitions. I like change but sometimes it shakes up my life for a while. Changes may be physical, or emotional, or even intellectual. When they happen I can sometimes be overwhelmed.

I adapt quite well to change and can even plan for it. What I often fear is my need to push and see where I am going. Sometimes I push too far and get burned out. Sometimes I seem to sweep those around me into my own vortex. This is just my fears and ego speaking but it contributes to the whole effect.

What can cause problems for me are those pleasurable activities I don't want to quit. Like a child I play to the last minute before running home for dinner. Pleasure and complacency can turn a normally smooth transition into a hectic race.

Crossroads are a special type of transition for me. I can see the change coming and try to adapt. Two lines of thought or two actions or two lives are intersecting. Where those two lines cross is the transition.

The dynamics of a crossroads transition can be fluid. Instead of two lines or roads think of two vehicles approaching an intersection. Each tries to adapt to the other and creates more change. Another useful analogy is that of a railway crossing. Will your car make it across before the train? Do you dare try?

I am at a crossroads right now. Various things in my life have started to change. Recently things have begun to accelerate. I am feeling worn and tired sometimes but I feel so alive.

I could try to hold off the change until I am "more prepared". Or I could embrace it and scream "Wheee!" like a child on a rollercoaster.