Wednesday, February 22, 2006

In A Bottle

As I change my writing style my readers change too. What appeals to one group doesn't always appeal to the other. So be it.

For so long in my life I carefully segregated many things. I have no deep secrets or traumas left within, but I learned to control who knew various facts about me. Part of it is natural - i.e. giving information I was comfortable of giving to people. Part of it was paranoia because I have had bad experiences with people gossiping about me to others. Gossip about 'harmless' subjects is still gossip and it hurts.

I have been trying to figure out what changes are taking place right now. I know why they are happening, but I don't quite know what is happening. As I look into myself I add a little more pressure to my system.

I feel like a specimen in a bottle. I know I am examining myself, but who else is studying me?

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