Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Buddies

Friendship is a theme I write about fairly often in this blog. One of the reasons I do so is to credit the people who mean something to me. There are a few people that make a difference in my life and I hopefully add something to their lives.

Whether we are interacting with others online or in the 'real' world:

we seek the presence of others who will make us feel better. (P. Shreenan)


There are differing opinions on whether online friends can be as important, or as real, to us as those we know offline, but the basic rules apply to both. I base my relationships on two principles: honesty and respect. I do govern my honesty on how well I know a person and what they need to know. Some discretion is needed.

Some people have lots of friends and others only a few. I tend to have a few close friends rather than lots of casual ones. This has been problematic when going through bad times. Relying on one or two people can put a strain on a relationship and make me wait for help. I remember a friend saying "you need to get used to having more than one person in your life." This is true but it can be difficult to achieve. As always I work to slowly expand my circle of friends.

I think one of my problems is that I find people interesting but challenging. If I have to deal with too many people things start feeling superficial. I used to hate that 'lost in a crowd' feeling I lived with when I was 16 - 17. My slogan seemed to be "I am a friend to all and a pal to none". It was frustrating having friends I couldn't really talk to. It was worst than being alone.

Friendships like other relationships require work and won't be perfect. They can be so satisfying though. I enjoy connecting with my friends and sharing personal stuff with my good friends. These varying levels of connectedness help define my place in the world.

I don't feel "lost in a crowd". I feel connected to you.

2 comments:

LJ said...

When you work in a 'public' kinda of job like I do there are a lot of people who think they are you friend. When the truth is "I" have very few close friends and many many acquaintances. I prefer it that way. Working in the environment that I do sometimes feels like living in an ant farm - everybody knows your business!
Cheers to good friends who know you and love you - good or bad. :-)

Leon said...

Yes. When I worked certain 'frontline' public jobs I tended to close out potential friends because I was trying to hold off all those 'friends' I didn't need or want.