Turmoil

The last 24 hours have been chaotic and upsetting for me. Last night I was very tired but couldn't sleep. I was reacting to some of the events and conversations from earlier in the day and I was waiting for one of my friends to get home so I could talk to him. When I contacted my friend everything seemed to go wrong.

I slept poorly and woke up tired and cranky. I felt bad about the chat and found myself brooding about it. I finally went to the park and just sat and tried to not think about anything. I realized a lot of the problem was that we had tried to talk while tired. I also figured out one of the underlying issues I had been dealing with.

When I got home I contacted my friend and apologized and sorted things out. I was just saying goodbye when another friend phoned me. I talked to him for a few hours. After talking with my friends I felt much better.

This roller-coaster ride started and ended with my friends. Adjusting to changes in them and in myself began the process. Trusting them and talking to them stopped it and reassured me that my friendships were secure.

Now I can work on some of the things I learned about myself.