P-O-Y assignment for 2004-07-10:
Do you think a lasting relationship can be formed with someone you've never met in person? Is an online friend any different than a friend anywhere else?
Although I have been blogging for over a year I have just recently began to make online friends. I think some of them will continue to be friends in the years to come. It is much like the pen pal friendships I had when I was younger. It is also similar to those "friends" from work or school that never come to your house but you enjoy their company.
The key to any friendship is dialogue. I think things changed for me when I added comments and a guestbook to my blog. The interaction sparked by my writing made me more open to others views and it got me reading other journals. This in turn got me interacting with others in their comments/guestbooks.
When a contact is a local this can be interesting. I haven't met any of my online friends from Victoria but we share a lot by living in the same city and visiting the same places. Through each others blogs we learn more about our city.
I am not sure if an online friend is any different than any other. People who come to my site meet me through my writing. In the 'real world' I am judged by my appearance, my job, and many other factors. Here I am judged by my writing.
One way an online relationship doesn't differ from any other is respect. When we read another person's blog we should realize that this is their space and not ours. If we comment in their blog or link to them they don't have to reciprocate. It would be nice if they did but it is their choice. I do think that responding to comments (within reason) helps a reader feel more welcome.
7 comments:
Great post! I think I have more online friends then I do 'in person' friends LOL In fact, I met my husband six years ago online. In 6 more months, we will celebrate our five year anniversay. We got to know each other online for over a year before we took the plunge to meet in person. A year of daily emails, you get to know a ton about a person; more so then you would learn on a few month's of dating.
Through my blog I've gotten to know a lot of people from a lot of countries, it is absolutely wonderful!
Kim - It great to hear a success story. It must have been interesting to meet.
Some really great points here, and a great topic. What I have noticed that really has me pleased and shocked me about us Victorianites who post in each others' guestbooks is that all of us (as far as I can tell) are really posting from the heart to support and inspire one another to write more. I don't feel any fear of reproach or worry that something I will write in my own blog will garner a negative response (save something overtly intolerable, such as racism etc.); I just truly feel that the majority of the readers of all of our blogs are positive faces who are there because they want to insire and support.
If anything, blogging has restored my faith in humanity.
--Laura-Jane K.
I think you make some really good points here. As a result of reading this, I made a point of responding to the comments on my blog (including yours), and we ended up with the longest comment dialogue I've ever had on my site. I love blogging. I love Victoria bloggers. I have to say that I feel much closer to some bloggers than I do to people I talk to in person everyday. I really like how we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable. I'm kind of just paraphrasing you and Laura-Jane, but I join my voice in agreement!
Rufus Monk
Thanks Laura - Jane and Rufus Monk for your comments. We can't comment on everything but when inspired to do so it is nice to feel welcome. The book 'We Blog' said having a comment system is a responsibility and encouraged bloggers to be 'good community leaders'. We appreciate others in our position so it it natural and good sense (and pure neighbourliness) to help each other. - firemind.
blogging has broadened my view of life immensely and made me friends in many areas of the world , I consider you one of them Leon
Thanks Christine - firemind
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