Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Painful Memories

Why do some old memories haunt us? Can't we ever forget?

Something reminded me of a painful period in my life. A simple misunderstanding made me unsure and angry. I remembered the old incident and relived it. 25 years were washed away in an instant and I was vulnerable again. I was alone and defenseless and in pain. How could this happen?

Time may "heal all wounds" but it saves the memory for us. This memory is there to keep us from repeating dangerous mistakes. This time I knew it wouldn't last. I knew how to deal with it and the situation.

My reaction was partly due to how I am now. I am not the defenseless person I was and wouldn't have done the things I did then. I did the best thing I could at the time but my present self kept saying "Why didn't I ...".

Memory is a tool and it can teach us lessons. Some of those lessons are painful.

2 comments:

LJ said...

Our memories can be both our friend and our foe. Painful memories will never leave us, but we hope the edges get softer with age. Quite possibly there is something to this memory that needs to be delt with. Hated hearing that didn't you. Keep on keeping on FM!

Leon said...

Oh, the memory is much softer than it used to be. It still has it's use though.