Happy Birthday?

Yesterday was my birthday and it was a mixed day. I was tired at times and a bit emotional at others. I used Audacity to make a short podcast but I wasn'’t happy with it so I decided to write this post instead.

I think I am having a bit of fallout from Tuesday but I can't really define it. I do feel that something is 'out of place' though. I guess this will take time.

I got a phone call from my parents and that was nice. I think my mom was the only person (all day) who wished me a happy birthday. I had a nice chat with the parents but noted some odd feelings.

I remember wishing they would leave me alone when I was younger. I wanted their approval and recognition but feared their control. I didn't want them finding out about me. Now it is different.

I am happy because my mom is finally going into the hospital for an operation. I am also worried a little too.

I have been thinking about one of my friends this weekend. He is having a tough time and there isn't anything I can do except say hi and listen. In some ways I am the wrong person for this because of I am too far away in age and distance. But, I do what I can because he is a nice guy and a good friend.

I have been thinking about a lot of my friends lately. In a way I have been reviewing what effect they had on me during the last year. I have enjoyed the exchange of ideas and the chance to get to know people. I have some awesome friends.

I could go on and look inward but I don't want to stir anything up inside.

I managed to quit brooding and go see X - Men 3 and I enjoyed it. It isn't a profound film but it is fun to watch. I did feel that it would have been better if I had seen the first two.

So another birthday has come and gone and it joins the 45 other ones I have survived. The year has been interesting and I look forward to the next one. I guess that means things aren't too bad right now.

So why do I feel down?