(In)Secure

I wasn't going to blog this morning. I was drained after chatting with friends last night and clarifying something with one of them. After playing a game for hours my mind can think objectively again.

One friend and I had a minor misunderstanding and we fixed things. That episode got me thinking about something and I emailed my friend. I was able to say why I reacted in a certain way and what I was feeling.

Feelings can be illogical. We may know something intellectually but our feelings seem to deny the truth.

I have some good blogfriends and we communicate back and forth at a level we are comfortable with. When someone hasn't been available I make sure to say hello when they are. I give them space when they need it. Some people have "moved on" and I don't hear from them but that's life.

I still find it odd when people habits change. Everything goes awry for a while. I "know" things are still secure but sometimes I start to compensate. I try to avoid arguments and "scenes" because I don't want to give people reasons to change more. Change is okay but too much can effect relationships.

I don't think I fear being turned away because I am not liked. I fear becoming irrelevant and boring.